Grimjack
Junior Member
Life is easier with a dancing banana
Posts: 71
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Post by Grimjack on Jun 8, 2008 20:18:28 GMT -5
Name:Gabriel Wraithblade Alias:the paladin Age:29 Gender:male
Species:heartless Position:evil Organization:heartless i guess
Powers:
Holy might: He becomes about 4x stronger so in turn is able to cut through most armor
Judgment:creates a clone of who he is fighting to fight for him
Divine intervention: this revives all of the lowest types of heartless or one of the stronger ones
Weapon:great sword
Appearance:
hair:? eyes:? height && weight: 6ft 5in clothing:full plate armor and a large White cape with the heartless symbol on the back
Personality:He believes that any sin is punishable by death even if it is justified like stealing food to feed your sick sister for instance.
History: After being born Gabriel was sent to where all heartless start off in a black pit he hears a voice in his head that tells him that all men have sinned and that they need to be cleansed but before he can do that he must have a full body so he must destroy and absorb the nobody of Jakk his god. After being sent from the pit Gabriel went on a "holy " crusade to "purify" all the evils of the worlds. To date he has "purified" 5 worlds and continues his campaign against sin in the most extreme fashions
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Grimjack
Junior Member
Life is easier with a dancing banana
Posts: 71
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Post by Grimjack on Jun 22, 2008 15:25:44 GMT -5
posting to get it to the top
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Post by Alexander Wavorly on Jun 23, 2008 7:39:36 GMT -5
I think it's overall good, but there's one little problem: the History. It doesn't really explain much of your character's past. I truthfully think you should add a few more paragraphs, but that's just my opinion. I would say add a few more sentences that explain what he's done since the voice, then you should be good.
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Grimjack
Junior Member
Life is easier with a dancing banana
Posts: 71
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Post by Grimjack on Jul 14, 2008 11:51:01 GMT -5
well I added something to the history and I wanted it to be empty to allow for me to explain most of it through playing him so thats why its so shallow.
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Post by Alexander Wavorly on Jul 15, 2008 7:52:04 GMT -5
OK. I understand what you're trying to get at. I'm gonna let you get away with it this time, but if you create a character again on this site, I'd like to see detail, even if you're going to explain it while Role-Playing. But until then... APPROVED!
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Grimjack
Junior Member
Life is easier with a dancing banana
Posts: 71
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Post by Grimjack on Jul 15, 2008 10:52:46 GMT -5
*laughing* alright I will keep that in mind for next well if theirs a next time
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